Friday, November 06, 2009
Angry!
I have a few (not many) socio-political issues that really, really rile me up--there are many that don't. I could give a crap about paying taxes--there will always be taxes. Don't really care about illegal aliens--enriching our culture or ruining our social services, stealing our jobs or contributing to the economy, arguments can be made either way and I just don't think it is a priority concern. Not passionate at all about states' rights vs. the Federal government. But universal women's rights are basic and IMPORTANT. Women are everywhere, every race and religion, and are treated across the board as less-than-men for no logical or justifiable reason. I read an article about a legal measure with unknown consequences for women's rights and unforeseeable applications against women in the state of Colorado, which may be enacted even though it is 2009 and we are living in the future! My bullshit-o-meter pinged up past the red line for this one. Also, WTF is up with the Personhood movement?!? The language used by this group is laughable. "Pre-born child"? I guess unborn is "too negative." Just like "pro-life" sounds so righteous, when they really could have gone with "anti-choice" or "Babies: worth more than women." Why is it so difficult to treat women as people rather than either sacred, untouchable goddess-like creatures or simple, hollow baby vessels? Why should a woman's life decisions, good or bad, be any more or less legally actionable than a man's? Why is a collection of cells/baby ranked above the woman/mother who carries it in terms of rights? South Carolina, you have FAIL.
What to do about this? I went to the NOW website. I Signed the Pledge, and maybe you will at least look at it too...?
Side-note
My personal feelings on childbearing/rearing are a) I don't want a kid, but b) I'm happy for you to have one if you want one and I'll pay taxes to educate and care for your wee one and I'll smile at it on the bus and chat with it and admire its cuteness, however please don't bring it to an R-rated movie or sit-down restaurant late at night and don't try to tell me I should behave differently because there is a child present.
What to do about this? I went to the NOW website. I Signed the Pledge, and maybe you will at least look at it too...?
Side-note
My personal feelings on childbearing/rearing are a) I don't want a kid, but b) I'm happy for you to have one if you want one and I'll pay taxes to educate and care for your wee one and I'll smile at it on the bus and chat with it and admire its cuteness, however please don't bring it to an R-rated movie or sit-down restaurant late at night and don't try to tell me I should behave differently because there is a child present.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Exponential
This is a fabulous video proving that we are cursed/blessed to lived in interesting times. So it goes.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Halloween pre-show: Even Stevphens
I love this old clip from The Daily Show. The two funniest/cutest Stevphens ever plus re-lived childhood trauma, druidic cabal, and candy? AWESOME.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Even Stevphen - Halloween | ||||
| ||||
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Stuck in my head! Sweet lemonade!
I am officially cursing the Upstairs Crowd for showing me the (NSFW--Not Safe For Work) video and getting the song stuck in my head! J and J, I curse you!!
http://www.getonmyhorse.com/
And some associated avatars I saw out and about using The Google:
"I think you'll find that the universe pretty much covers everything."
Look forward to a real post covering the Texas trip and this week's assorted miscellany on the morrow.
http://www.getonmyhorse.com/
And some associated avatars I saw out and about using The Google:
Look forward to a real post covering the Texas trip and this week's assorted miscellany on the morrow.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Color study 3
I think I need to stop taking artsy pics with my phone. The colors are far more vivid in real life.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Saturday morning in Texas
Friday, October 16, 2009
Texas, in bite-sized portions
Foodie update! Last night's dinner came from Guadalajara, one of Bastrop's nicest Mexican restaurants. I had the steak fajitas (with guacamole!) to accompany beans, rice, and copious quantities of fresh chips and salsa. Mr. Janssen's burrito came with [chili con] queso, which he gladly forked over in exchange for a bite of steak. Mmmm, queso. Breakfast this morning is homemade pumpkin pancakes with Greek yogurt and pineapple juice. I love visiting Mom!
The trip down was easy. I think that Alaska's new direct flight from SEA to AUS may be the easiest flight I've ever taken, in fact. The plane was mostly full but not packed, in-flight service was pleasant, and boarding and exiting the aircraft was a breeze. I even got to knit during takeoff and landing. (Note to @FreezeRae: I took the picture with my phone set to Flight mode, so no interference with equipment. Perfectly legal and safe.)
Emma, my parents' new dog, and I have bonded. She loves being loved. She is silent as the grave and has a piercing blue-eyed stare. She snuggles. She is a good dog.
I set up the Wii last night and gave my folks a demo using Lego Indiana Jones. (I do so love Lego Sean Connery.) Making a Mr. Janssen Mii was fun, and it includes the gray handlebar mustache and Klingon hairdo. Can't wait to see them test Wii Sports and their new Wii Fit, and to kick Mr. J's ass at Mario Kart.
Today Mom and I are off to the outlet mall at Round Rock (Le Creuset! Eddie Bauer! Gap!) and then "dunch", dinner/lunch, at The Salt Lick. Mmmm, barbeque and beer...
The trip down was easy. I think that Alaska's new direct flight from SEA to AUS may be the easiest flight I've ever taken, in fact. The plane was mostly full but not packed, in-flight service was pleasant, and boarding and exiting the aircraft was a breeze. I even got to knit during takeoff and landing. (Note to @FreezeRae: I took the picture with my phone set to Flight mode, so no interference with equipment. Perfectly legal and safe.)
Emma, my parents' new dog, and I have bonded. She loves being loved. She is silent as the grave and has a piercing blue-eyed stare. She snuggles. She is a good dog.
I set up the Wii last night and gave my folks a demo using Lego Indiana Jones. (I do so love Lego Sean Connery.) Making a Mr. Janssen Mii was fun, and it includes the gray handlebar mustache and Klingon hairdo. Can't wait to see them test Wii Sports and their new Wii Fit, and to kick Mr. J's ass at Mario Kart.
Today Mom and I are off to the outlet mall at Round Rock (Le Creuset! Eddie Bauer! Gap!) and then "dunch", dinner/lunch, at The Salt Lick. Mmmm, barbeque and beer...
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Travel day
On my way to Austin, TX. SeaTac at 7:30 AM isn't awful, but coffee at SBX still makes it better.
Knitting: Fetching in Malabrigo Silky Merino, colorway Vigo. One down...
Monday, October 12, 2009
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Sad Fish
I saw a great avatar picture on Ravelry today:
This sums up my last 24 hours pretty damn well. I missed a single day's dose of Vitamin Anti-D--which means I went 24 hours without any pills in my system--and it sent me into a tailspin of epic proportions. Dizzy brain, nausea, loss of appetite, exhaustion, and uncontrollable crying jags. Sam knew something was very wrong from minute one, and proceeded to snuggle the hell out of me at every opportunity. I know things aren't right with my neural chemistry when I'm violently weeping while apologizing to the dog for stressing him out.
I called one friend last night and almost asked her to come over, but she was hanging out with her boyfriend so I pretended that I'd called just to chat. I scrolled through everyone else in my phone list and ruled all of my friends out as possible touchstones, sometimes with logical arguments ("She is in California and cannot come over for tea right now.") and sometimes out of embarassment ("How will >insert name here< react to me being in this state?"). I worried more about the consequences of having someone over on my relationship with that person than I worried about needing company. I ended up hanging out with the Upstairs Crowd, once I figured out they were home, and watching Discovery channel while not knitting on a dishcloth. Later, settling down in bed required over an hour of Plants vs. Zombies with my favorite golden lamp turned on nearby and lots of fluffy pillows. Falling asleep last night was tough, and I had vivid, angry nightmares.
I almost didn't get out of bed today.
I got up and took my pills and came to work this morning because I knew staying home would be worse.
I have not felt this horrible since 2001. I remember starting the descent into the black pit around mid-summer, and how I could still see daylight even after the numbing madness that was 9/11. By New Year's I was in wretched shape, sleeping 10 hours a day or more, playing computer games into the wee hours of dawn, cutting myself off from my long-time friends. I wasn't going to the movies (my major hobby at the time as I hadn't taken up knitting yet), I wasn't cooking, I wasn't dining (just eating), I wasn't shopping, I wasn't travelling, I wasn't reading. I got up, watched Law & Order, worked, and slept. Nothing interested me, and nothing mattered.
In late winter I figured out that I was depressed and needed help, that nothing was fundamentally wrong with my life at the time, and that I wasn't capable of going to (or even interested in) therapy. When I finally called my doctor's office (she was an Ob-Gyn) to make an appointment, I remember being in tears and trying not to let on that I was crying. The receptionist told me that she wouldn't be able to fit me in until a month away, and that I should see my (non-existent at the time) primary care physician instead. Which sent me into hysterics. On the phone. With a stranger. I made that call at 3 in the afternoon, and I was still in bed.
I saw the doctor that week and began a chemical journey into the unknown. I slowly got better, turning back into a functional human being who interacted with her environment and friends. By the following winter I was OK, even good. And over the last seven years prescriptions changed, dosages increased/decreased, and I've learned to read my tendencies and moods and mental chemistry. I have maintained the OK, staying fairly level--in short, functioned much like everyone else on the planet. Until yesterday.
What astonishes me is that it all came crashing down on me like a brick tower in an earthquake. It was so sudden, so unexpected, and such a complete destruction of the even-keeled mindset I've built up that I would catagorize the event as catastrophic. Natural disaster images come to mind. Why would a single missed dose cause this reaction? And what would have happened if I'd missed a second dose, or a third?
I am doing, moving forward right now, unable to focus much, but am not in the state I was yesterday or even this morning. I vacillate between deeply sad and ragingly angry, and am restless and irritated--but I'm not crying. I am taking Sam to the dog park this evening. I am seeing the doctor tomorrow, and the fact that I can think about tomorrow without wanting to weep means progress.
This sums up my last 24 hours pretty damn well. I missed a single day's dose of Vitamin Anti-D--which means I went 24 hours without any pills in my system--and it sent me into a tailspin of epic proportions. Dizzy brain, nausea, loss of appetite, exhaustion, and uncontrollable crying jags. Sam knew something was very wrong from minute one, and proceeded to snuggle the hell out of me at every opportunity. I know things aren't right with my neural chemistry when I'm violently weeping while apologizing to the dog for stressing him out.
I called one friend last night and almost asked her to come over, but she was hanging out with her boyfriend so I pretended that I'd called just to chat. I scrolled through everyone else in my phone list and ruled all of my friends out as possible touchstones, sometimes with logical arguments ("She is in California and cannot come over for tea right now.") and sometimes out of embarassment ("How will >insert name here< react to me being in this state?"). I worried more about the consequences of having someone over on my relationship with that person than I worried about needing company. I ended up hanging out with the Upstairs Crowd, once I figured out they were home, and watching Discovery channel while not knitting on a dishcloth. Later, settling down in bed required over an hour of Plants vs. Zombies with my favorite golden lamp turned on nearby and lots of fluffy pillows. Falling asleep last night was tough, and I had vivid, angry nightmares.
I almost didn't get out of bed today.
I got up and took my pills and came to work this morning because I knew staying home would be worse.
I have not felt this horrible since 2001. I remember starting the descent into the black pit around mid-summer, and how I could still see daylight even after the numbing madness that was 9/11. By New Year's I was in wretched shape, sleeping 10 hours a day or more, playing computer games into the wee hours of dawn, cutting myself off from my long-time friends. I wasn't going to the movies (my major hobby at the time as I hadn't taken up knitting yet), I wasn't cooking, I wasn't dining (just eating), I wasn't shopping, I wasn't travelling, I wasn't reading. I got up, watched Law & Order, worked, and slept. Nothing interested me, and nothing mattered.
In late winter I figured out that I was depressed and needed help, that nothing was fundamentally wrong with my life at the time, and that I wasn't capable of going to (or even interested in) therapy. When I finally called my doctor's office (she was an Ob-Gyn) to make an appointment, I remember being in tears and trying not to let on that I was crying. The receptionist told me that she wouldn't be able to fit me in until a month away, and that I should see my (non-existent at the time) primary care physician instead. Which sent me into hysterics. On the phone. With a stranger. I made that call at 3 in the afternoon, and I was still in bed.
I saw the doctor that week and began a chemical journey into the unknown. I slowly got better, turning back into a functional human being who interacted with her environment and friends. By the following winter I was OK, even good. And over the last seven years prescriptions changed, dosages increased/decreased, and I've learned to read my tendencies and moods and mental chemistry. I have maintained the OK, staying fairly level--in short, functioned much like everyone else on the planet. Until yesterday.
What astonishes me is that it all came crashing down on me like a brick tower in an earthquake. It was so sudden, so unexpected, and such a complete destruction of the even-keeled mindset I've built up that I would catagorize the event as catastrophic. Natural disaster images come to mind. Why would a single missed dose cause this reaction? And what would have happened if I'd missed a second dose, or a third?
I am doing, moving forward right now, unable to focus much, but am not in the state I was yesterday or even this morning. I vacillate between deeply sad and ragingly angry, and am restless and irritated--but I'm not crying. I am taking Sam to the dog park this evening. I am seeing the doctor tomorrow, and the fact that I can think about tomorrow without wanting to weep means progress.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
